Roseanne's Nuts is a Lifetime reality show/docudrama that aired from July 13, 2011, to September 16, 2011. It featured Roseanne Barr, her partner Johnny Argent and son Jake Pentland as they live on their macadamia nut and livestock farm in Hawaii. Celebrity guests included: Bonnie Bramlett, Michael Fishman, Phyllis Diller and Sandra Bernhard. It premiered on July 13, 2011, with two half-hour episodes. The show received mixed reviews based on its first episode. Its premiere was watched by 1.6 million viewers becoming Lifetime's fourth most-watched unscripted series launch in total viewers, adults 18-49 and adults 25-54. However, by its sixth week it was down to 711,000 viewers and was moved from Wednesdays to Friday nights for its final three weeks; repeats of Dance Moms took its Wednesday slot. On September 21, 2011, it was reported that Lifetime canceled the series.
Episode 1
Roseanne realizes that being a farmer isn't as easy as it looks. Wild pigs are infiltrating her farm and eating her nuts! Determined to put an end to this delinquent behavior, Roseanne hires hunters with pig dogs to catch the pigs. But once captured, Roseanne questions what she wants to do with them.
Episode 2
Roseanne uses farm work to help curb her uncontrollable temper. When Johnny and Jake confront her about it, she places the blame on an age-old curse. So she visits a local spiritual healer to help lift the curse and free her from her anger.
Episode 3
Almost 20 years after her infamous rendition of the national anthem landed her in hot water, Roseanne gets a shot at redemption when she is invited to sing the song at a local girl's softball game. As she debates whether or not to accept the invitation, Roseanne enlists the aid of her friend, singer Bonnie Bramlett, to help rehearse for the big day.
Episode 4
Johnny is frustrated by Roseanne's snoring problem and desperate to find a solution. Roseanne is resistant at first but eventually gives in and tries a variety of methods to get her to stop.
Episode 5
Roseanne bought a historic Hawaiian museum and it's haunted! Or at least that's what the locals think. So in order to rid the place of the ghostly spirits, Roseanne is having her museum "blessed" by a local Hawaiian priest. But things get spooky when she becomes deathly ill on the day of the blessing.
Episode 6
What do you give the mother who has everything? Surfing lessons of course! While Roseanne hangs ten, boyfriend Johnny and son Jake turn the house upside down to surprise Roseanne with squeaky-clean digs upon her return.
Episode 7
In an effort to be completely self sustainable and live off the land, Roseanne plans to cook this year's Passover meal using only vegetables from her farm. Overwhelmed with the task at hand, Roseanne realizes she doesn't have enough food from her garden and enlists the help of her celebrity guests to prepare dinner.
Episode 8
Comedy icons Phyllis Diller and Sandra Bernhard arrive at Roseanne's farm for a "Girls Night Out." The titanic trio drinks, dines and dances the night away, but the hijinks take a toll on Roseanne. The next morning she awakes with a horrible hangover and spends the day looking for a cure.
Episode 9
Roseanne has long had the dream of taking the surplus food from her farm and donating it to those in need. To make the dream a reality, Roseanne buys a truck, fills it with her fresh vegetables and hits the streets of Hawaii. The only problem: where are the hungry people?
Episode 10
With a trip back to Los Angeles looming on the horizon, Roseanne is starting to feel the familiar anxiety that has plagued her most of her life. To alleviate the stress, Roseanne visits a doctor who can help her get a medicinal marijuana license in Hawaii.
Episode 11
Roseanne is giving a speech to a group of young girls at a local high school and hopes to twist, er, shape their minds toward being strong, independent women. While Roseanne and Johnny lock horns while writing her speech, Archie takes Jake out for a man-date to toughen up the "city boy" for life on the farm.
Episode 12
Roseanne serves as grand marshal of the 2011 Utah Pride Festival in Salt Lake City, where she grew up. While there, she visits her childhood home with her mom and brother.
Episode 13
Roseanne and her family go camping, but when Roseanne returns home to get additional supplies, she confronts Jenny about her smoking habit.
Episode 14
Roseanne volunteers to homeschool her grandkids for a day, but things quickly get out of hand.
Episode 15
Roseanne deals with the pains of menopause and tries to revive her sex life with Johnny.
Episode 16
Roseanne hosts a luau to launch her business, and although the men want to hunt a pig on her farm and cook it for the celebration, Roseanne isn't sure she wants to allow it.
